Consent is about everyone involved giving and receiving an enthusiastic “YES!” Giving and receiving consent can start with questions like:
- “So… what would you like to do?”
- “Are you sure this feels good?”
No matter what you like to do in the bedroom (or elsewhere!), sex should feel good in your mind and body, and be a positive experience.
Be aware of your expectations of having sex and whether they match your sex partner(s). Are you looking for something casual or just a one-off encounter or are you looking for something more serious to you, such as, a long-term or monogamous relationship?
Talking about what you want to do sexually, with who you want to do it with, and giving and receiving consent, is the first step to having a good time!
Lots of people have trouble saying ‘No’ outright. When asking for consent, watch out for signs they don’t want to, such as saying things like “I’m not sure…”, or body language like staying silent, moving away or putting clothes on.
Consent can also be withdrawn at any time. Watch out for words like “Stop”, “Not there”, “Ouch”.
People can say no or change their minds during sex, and may not be able to explain why. This is OK, respect their decision and move on.
Even if you say “Yes”, sometimes you can’t legally give consent:
- If you are 15 years old or younger.
- Are heavily under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
- When forced or tricked into saying yes.